Sup bois, it's future conqueror of Belgium, Rock "Thunder Bulge" Digglesbee aka Clark Kunt aka Sex Luther aka the only man willing to watch a sequel to a remake of the film equivalent of day old monkey shit that got flung at the schoolchildren who were only visiting the zoo and now will grow up to have an irrational fear of unshaved Mexicans and grow up to be the next Donnie Trump or sum shit which was the Green Lantern film. I'm here today to let yall unrepentant diddlers know all about the new Ghostbusters film.
It's shit.
Now, with that outta the way, I'll get to the meat and bones and rapidly spreading cancer of the bone marrows that makes up this here blog... reviews for films an other shit that pours from my semi-retarded mind. Today's target is JFK's head... I mean, uh, Batty Boy Versus Soup Kitchen aka Emo Kid Versus that Buff as Fuck Math Teacher that Called him a Wrist Slitting Waste of Man Batter and Cunt Butter aka What Happens When You Introduce Two People Whose Parents Died aka Dark an Gritty DC Superhero Clusterfuck Movie #307.
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| Pictured: The relationship DC movies have with the general public. |
So what'll happen in the film is this: It'll start wid some low level, vaguely ethnic criminals doing a rape or an arson or some shit when OHMAFUCKENGODISSBATMUN! an Batman approaches to save the orphanage or wateva the fuck. Meanwhile, Superman is being played by Rebel Wilson for the sake of attracting keyboard feminists and BBW fetishists to the cinema so they can brag online about how "progressive" and "empowering" this film about two grown men throwing a massive tantrum about being rich, obnoxious Kanye West level dickweeds really is.
So Soup Kitchen aka the Fuckin Master of Disguise aka Not Clark Kent aka a joke about how the Oscars are designed to oppress the Mexicans because they made a film called the Room and there were walls in it an Mexicans can't look at a wall without crying any more thanks to ya boi Donald Duck aka the American (Retarded) Boris Johnson, shows up at Mark Zuckerberg's weird cousin's bah mitzfah wid his vision constantly fucked from forcing himself to wear non prescription glasses all teh fuckin time (maybe there'll be some Specsaver's product placement in there?) an gets introduced to Bat Nipple, I mean, Nipple Man, I mean... shit. Wonder Woman, who is now Hispanic and Asian at the same time for the sake of racial diversity shows up to give nerds and feminists awkward boners, so just look for all the people suddenly crossing their legs in the cinema when you watch dis shit.
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| And then shit like this happens after the film is over. |
Oh, an then Carl Drogo aka the Stephen Hawking of Game of Thrones aka lolfish.com aka Captain Bird's Eye Fishfingers will make a split second appearance at one of Batman's strip clubs, pimping out Robin to the mutated fuckbois of Gotham City. The Flash will be forced to introduce himself to his neighbours after some kids start tellin they parents some dude ran past school doing a Flash. And after DC manage to shove in all these cameos like coathangers being shoved up a woman pregnant wid triplets at an abortion clinic, the fifth hour of the film will bring in Supergirl, played by Ice Cube for the sake of equality, to beat down Stan Lee or sum shit... I really don't care... I think everyone expects this film to be a fucken trainwreck anyway so I really can't be arsed to insult it properly.
I predict Green Lantern 4 will do better.
Peace out yall "I just wanted to write a paragraph about how great my mum is on Facebook because I forgot to buy a card for Motha's Day" ass bishes!
