Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2: Why Eating Pie for Dinner was a Mistake

Sup yall, iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka the Sixth Beatle aka the bloke who killed Uncle Ben aka Nunfucker Chuck, here's mah views on the sex... I mean sexcond episode. Oh, and, don't eat anything crusty or scab looking whilst watching this un.

"Turns out I have mega-syphilis."

Less talk about blokes gettin their veggies lopped off. That seemed a major theme in today's episode. Grey Worm compensates by takin some lessons from Jon Snow aka the puss whisperer. Varys compensates by being a generally sus bloke who wears a dressing gown all over the shop, but at least the boy still reps the streets. Theon aka the dickless fishman aka the Fuckboi Wonder, decides to rage quit afta his creepy uncle makes a joke about his man-luggage going walkabouts. Meanwhile, Dyke-al Phelps aka the only one in the family getting any poon, is gettin taken away to be bridesmaid at Euron and Cersei's wedding. Oh, and two thirds of the Sand Snacks got decimated in a strange kinky type ov fight. Euron got stabbed in the nuts an never gave up. Employee of da year!
Also Euron's entry was like something outta WWE. Glorious shit

Samwell decides giving impromptu skin grafts is a respectable hobby. I threw up my dinner. Jorah wonders why he even bothered talkin to the weirdos at the Vatican or whereva the fuck they are. Nex episode they'll discover he cudda just popped some antibiotics to clear his skin right up. Man's out lookin like a half-burnt marshmellow.

The fire cult continues to pop up. MelisAndre the Giant rolls up to tell Danny she once banged Stannis on her meeting room table. Then gets embarrassed when she gets corrected on her own religious beliefs by a former slavegirl. LOL!

Smooth...

Anyway, Samwell's pa gets gobby to the man with the golden fingerblasts. Meanwhile, Dr Frankenstein aka feel the Qyburn bullshits about inventing crossbows. Luckily Cersei has never been into her basement before so gets moist when the arrow goes through a mouldy 200 year old skull. Can't wait til the crossbow bolts just bounce offa the dragon's scales in the finale, and Qyburn jus dips outta there to go get some poon in Dorne.

Arya runs into the fat kid she used to bully in school aka REMEMBER THAT KID, THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE NOW. She then finds her lost dog, but she's too big to get through a doggie flap now so bounces. Jon fucks off from his new crib afta everyone starts plotting. He knows what happened to his brother. Lil Finga gives him the ol "I wanted to fuck yer step-mum, but now she dead so I wanna stick the old ham cannon up in yo sister, anyway, peace out future brother in law."

Anyway, I gotta go delete my co-workers offa Facebook before they discover Rocky Daggenstein's masterpieces an start exposing me on Jeremy Kyle or sum shit. Peace!