Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 6: Winter Olympics

Sup yall iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka The One Eyed Hornet aka Barry Bitchkicker aka Scat outta Hell, an less have a look at dese Winter Olympic shenanigans.

"KOBE!"

So, whilst Sansa goes through her sister's shit and messes up all the neatly folded severed faces, ma boi Big Gendz aka the Baratheon Bulldog aka Did you just assume my Gendry again? aka "Stop... Hammertime!" preps for the next leg of his Westeros triathlon, he's already completed the rowing section after all. Micky Blue Eyes aka Scandinavian Darth Maul also psyches himself up for the javelin event he's been training hundreds of years for. Will he do better than Bronn at the dragon shooting? The Hound, meanwhile, is trying one of those hammer swinging things.

Anyway, Suicide Squad v.2 aka Snowmies go trekking through the snow. The gang's all here. There's Jon Snow aka "First I get dat dragonglass, then I get that dragonASS!", Jorah the Mormon aka "I got cured of stony genital warts for this shit?", the Hound aka KFC's worst nightmare, Gendry aka scared of ginger minge, Tormund aka the man with the soulless chin, Beric aka "shit, I took fall damage, can I get some resurrection over here plz" and Thoros aka Thorence Nightingale. So Tormund chats about they have to fuck wateva they can find, then he's all like, "hey, a bear!". Jon an Beric "Hit that respawn button again" Dondles compare notes on death. Beric suggests poison, an Jon's like "Hmm, haven't tried that one yet". The Hound calls out whinging. Tormund and the Hound bond over their fetish for big women. Thoros reveals that being shitfaced is the key to his powers.

So they get attacked by a zombie bear afta Tormund sticks it in the whole hole. Some randoms get wreckt but then Thoros gets got cuz the Hound gets shook. Then the Westeros Jackass crew try ambushing some zombies as their next stunt, and all goes well. They snatch up one of the wights and are about to toddle off, when Gendry starts his marathon. A crowd of admirers swarm the Boys and they retreat to the ice rink.

The White Walkers were running late due to delays in the replacement bus service.

Danny decides to see how the lads are doing as she hasn't had a text from Jon in a few hours and is getting worried. Also a midget joke is made. Real classy, dragon queen.

Jon and Co hold up on an island. Thoros dies of old age waiting for George RR Martin to write the next book. The Hound tries rock skipping which just makes the wights angry. Beric whips out his lightsaber and the crew prepares for a showdown. A riot breaks out after the javelin event is delayed and Jon bumps one of the other randos into the mob. Tormund almost gets drowned, but Jaime reminds him that real niggas don't drown, and the Hound comes in with the save. Still, it looks like the crew is fuckety fucked, but den Dany comes through with the save.

The lads all hop on the dragon, Jorah complaining that there's no first class. Bronn pops up to ask if he wants Fancy Lads Class? Jon sees the Night King finally arrive, and tries to 1v1 him, but he only cares about javelining. So he shoots! And down goes one of the dragons! Dany fucks off after Jon gets rugby tackled into the drink. 

Den Uncle Ben Express Horse rolls up swangin at the zombos. Mothafucka noticed some dragons flying about and thought it might be worth a look, I guess. He's like "Hey Jon, I'm still about!" then sacrifices himself anyway.

Jon gets back to safety, and Danny comes to visit him. It all gets a bit steamy... almost. Davos shoulda hid some of that fermented crab about and theyda bin banging like rabbits.

But den, Night King gets pissed that he missed his second javelin shot and summons Blue Eyes Wight Dragon for target practice.

Mr Freeze out here.

Thass about it. How about dat...

Peace.