Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 8: Hi, I'm Arya Stark, Welcome to Jackass!

Sup yall blathering, Bob Geldof blastin out ya speakers on a Friday night ass dipshits, iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka Rok-Dig-Ba aka Witchdoctor Rodney aka Moisto the Gimp, less get into diss.

So Brienne Blessed rolls up on Jaime's posse and bullies him into lettin her visit Sansa's uncle in his nursing home, which he has locked himself in since he realised the nurses were stealin his pills. Unfortunately, Muthafuckin Blackfish is too smart to deal wid her "The Army Needs You!" letter an tells her ta fuck off back to Goldfingers aka Five Finger Death Slap. Oh, and Bronn molests a young boy afta insulting him for not gettin his dick wet wid Brienne.

Speakin of young boys getting molested, the Catholic Church show up, an they're on the run fo attempted fingerblasting when the Hound catches up. He tells them to "chop chop" and then whips they asses like a dominatrix in a horse race. He then bumps into his old penpals, the immortal pirate aka OG Jon Snow aka undead Popeye an his life coach the manbun man aka international hangman champion 2007, an afta some food critiquing, cock waving and light strangulation, the Hound decides to join their band as the replacement drummer for that boyfingering bald bloke who he castrated back in teh woods. In short, the Hound is now my favourite character again.

The man is a legend.

Meanwhile, Jaime tries to convince Edmeh to try out this new form of contraceptive, where you fire a baby out of a catapult, but Edmuh shoots it down (the idea, not the baby). Jaime lets Edmuh go and he tries to get the Blackfish to come out an play, but Blackfish is halfway through season 4 of Breaking Bad an refuses to come out. Edmuh lets Jaime and those peasant ass Freys in, whilst Blackfish helps Brienne an Pod escape. He then remembers he left his porn collection at the top of the stairs and runs back.
Jaime is then told that this epic badass war general died. THE FUCKN BLACKFISH IS FUCKIN DEAD?!?!? Jus like dat? At this point I expected him to go: "oh, an boss, King's Landing got nuked an all major characters there are dead lol".

Back in China Town, Qyburn brings Cersei her happy pills but then some hardcore Mormons show up and start insulting science as bullshit. The Mountain, who has a PHD in the physics and anatomy of efficient head trauma, wins the debate by pulling a dude's head off like a fuckin dandelion.

Arya is rescued by a bowl of shitty soup an some LSD milk, whilst Lady Crane tells her about stabbin a guy to death wit a fucken dildo. When Arya wakes up, Crane is more broken an fucked up than a table from Ikea, an the Termiwafer rocks up to finish the ganking. Fortunately, Arya discovers a portal to Assassin's Creed, and parkours around the city for a while. What I really took away from this is that Lady Crane has some fuckin effective painkillers. Also, the people in that city will yell out in horror if their baskets get damaged, but don't bat an eyelid at bleeding little stabbed girls, assassins with knives in plain sight shoving past them, or a blind girl gettin the shit kicked out of her.
Eventually, Arya's bathsalt high wears off an she staggers into a dark room. The Waif starts gettin all cocky an shit, and talks shit about Arya's Youtube channel. Luckily, Arya is an emo and is better off in the darkness, so when the electricity gets cut off, she kills the Waif.
Jack Sparrow finds the face hangin up like a fuckin Christmas decoration, an then Arya tells him she is Arya Stark. He calls her no one, leadin me to believe he has the worst short term memory ever, then she storms off. The Faceless Assassins meet to discuss the complete failure of their apprenticeship scheme and begin a new recruitment drive.

Ah, well, this week's MVP was Blackfish, fo going out like a beast, even if we didn't see it, and Grey Worm for bringing the comedy as always.
Till next time...