Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 6: The Samtard Show

Ayy bois, iss ya boi Sup Yagglesbee aka Motorboatarola aka Wankenstein's Monsta. Now dat we've all gotten over Hodor's death an have focused our collective outrage on dat sneaky bitch David Cameron once again, less get into the review.

First off, it seems Bran Squad's sacrifice was pointless, as Bran an Meera aka the character who's taken the most shit without complainin throughout the whole series (possibly) are surrounded by zombies. Meera goes in for a hug, an Bran immediately breaks out of his coma for a chance to lose his v-card before the walking dead extras rip them apart.
Unfortunately for a crippled boy's boner, a mysterious figure appears to fling some fireballs about and save dey asses. Good thing Hodor wasn't there really, or he'd have broken the horse's legs when he climbed on.
So as Bran desperately stores the memory of Meera hugging him in the VR wankbank, the stranger reveals himself to be Uncle Benji aka the North's Bear Grylls, who reveals he was jus cruisin about on a mental gap year lookin to tap some sweet Wilding pooss when the ice Nazis ganked his ass.

Since I've run out of offensive Sesame Street pictures, I'll jus use The Wire gifs instead.

And finally we get to see more of Samtard and Gilly and their Satan Spawn lookin ass adopted inbred Aryan child... future Joffrey or wateva. Anyway, I desperately tried to stay awake through their scenes for the first time ever, an I found out that Smatard's mum is a milf and also his dad's pretty much me but old-

...oh shit... does this mean... no... it can't be... 

AM I SAMTARD'S FATHER!!!!!?!??!?!?!?

Of course not, ya bish, it's a fictional TV show, an they ain't doing no Rock Digglesbee crossovers any time soon.

No one enjoys watching the re-enactment of her enemies' brutal deaths, before suddenly deciding that she ain't gonna slip some Cosby pills in Lady Crane's drink for Jacken HGlkKAR. Jacken aka Kurt Cobain takes the new surprisingly well, and rips off a dead guy's face. THAT'S METAL AS FUCK!!!

Back in incest land, the Lannisters get outsmarted by a demented old shoe maker. Margery looks fit as fuck. Her dad gives the most inspirational speech since Samuel L Jackson's "I have a dream, motherfucker" speech, despite lookin like he just fell through a Halloween costume shop on the way there.

Me when I found out that Margery wasn't gonna do the naked walk.

Samtard violates the terms of his probation by nicking his dad's sword and also a pack of Freddos from the local One Stop. Gilly remains on guard duty with her mouth hanging open as always lookin like Cletus offa the Simpsons.

Meanwhile, Jaime finally convinces Cersei to get #wincest trending again despite heavy competition from #shitparents and #savethegorillas(butonlyuntilwefindsomethingelsetogetoutragedat). Also his son fires him harder than the Nerf gun they used to rekill Charles Dance in that play.

The caretaker from Hogwarts is still stuck to his chair an complains that no one's cared about his mouldy ol ass since teh Red Wedding. He also brings the Blackfish hype! Oh, an dat dopey fucka what got married at the Red Wedding looks like he's loving the married lifestyle.

MVP of diss episode was... ah fuck it, it was Samtard. God, I hate myself for this... Runners up include the pissed off girl who hates No one and Margery's dad's hat.

Peace.