Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 9: Saving Private Rickon

Sup yall marshmallow faced bastards, iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka Diggie Smalls aka Grubby Mitts Esquire Junior the Third aka the Pissy Spray Lord, less look at this here Battle of teh Bastards.

Well, this is awkward now.

We open up in Mehreen wit Danny givin Tyrion her whole "I'm not angry, I'm jus disappointed" speech about burning down the odd city or two. They get interrupted by a window smashing, and whilst Grey Worm suggests they ring up Gavin from Auto-Glass wit his new found comedy skills, Danny meets up wid three creepy blokes who swiped left on her Tinder account.
Just as the most metro-sexual lookin one starts considering a swipe right, a gert fuck off big dragon rolls up to tell him he's not his real dad. Danny straddles the dragon (not a Pornhub video title... yet) and zooms off. Conveniently enough the two other dragons manage to Shawshank Redemption their way through a brick wall and fly along with her. And them Lady Gaga video extra lookin cunts got rekt when Super Dario an teh Dothraki showed up. That was for Lionel Richie, ya bastards!
As the sound of underpaid sailors simultaneously bricking it reaches a deafening crescendo, Danny orders her Charizards to use flamethrowers, and it's super effective against wood. BUT NOT MA WOOD! I WAS ALREDDY ERECT!!! IT COULD ONLEE GET BETTA!!!

I NEED TO CONSULT A FUCKEN DOCTOR!!!!

So afta that, we see Jon & the Posse havin a good ol fashioned smacktalk showdown, which Ramsey aka the Third Gallagher Brother thinks he can win by repeatedly sayin "bastard". The irony is lost on Jon, as he knows nothing, but Sansa shits on Ramsey worse than the time he ordered her to when they were married becuz quite frankly he's probly into dat shit. But the threat of his impending death keeps the erection maintained, even if I was starting to feel dizzy at that point. But I manned up and drank some more paint to rest my nerves. Good to see that lil girl waiting to fuck up Ramsey wid her 62 pet bears or wateva teh fuck. Sadly, Ramsey won't 1v1 Jon, but Mr "Your Father Was A Cunt" aka Evil Hagrid shows off his wolf's head paperweight. 

Back at Fort Shitcreek, Jon gets some solid advice from Sansa: "Don't do what he wants you to do" and MILFassandre: "Don't make me make you respawn again, you cheeky wanka!". All of this pointless advice maintains the status quo of Jon Snow knowing nothing.

Meanwhile, the bromance between Gingerbiscuit and the Badger is cut short by Davos discovering the site of Stannis's Big BBQ an findin the remains of a "World's Worst Dad" mug in the ruins. Tormund drinks goat milk.

THE ERECTION'S STILL HERE!!!

Back in Chicago, Danny aka Mother of the Third Degree Burn Ward at the Local Hospital entertains guests. I mean, it's only another dickless bloke wid his sister. But his sister convinces Danny that Euron's a bit of a prick an that she should taste carpet. As we pray for the scissoring scene, I also pray that they send Theon's sister to have a chat wid Margery. OH GOD, IT'S STARTIN TO HURT NOW!!!

And now we come to the main event...

Ramsey, the smug prick, rolls out wid Rickon and then lets him run off to Jon. Jon's thinkin, sweet, I aready got diss, but then Ramsey turns into Robin Hood an starts blastin the gat. Rickon turns into fuckin Oscar Pistorius at this, unfortunately Oscar Pistorius without prosthetics, meaning he can't turn in any direction. As Jon abandons all battle plans, because he knows nothing, Ricky gets an arrow in the back. Shit has hit the fan!

Guess which reaction I had to Ricky's death!

Jon's about to get trampled worse than an English football fan in Moscow, but then Tormund and the bois rush in and it turns into a disorientating clusterfuck. Like, I'm pretty sure Jon musta got at least one team kill there. Anyway, shit is kickin off all ova the shop, and a huge pile of bodies builds up behind Jon's crew. Davos runs in to help wid the stragglers. Jon's wolf presumably decides to stay outta this afta what happened to the last wolf what tried ta help.

Lord Cuntfather leads his troops in and they surround Jon's crew an start jabbing them. Ya boi Wun Wun the giant breaks a mufucka in half and starts kickin the shit outta dudes left and right even with hundreds of arrows pokin out of him. Yall already know he's the MVP right?
Jus as Jon starts drownin in death like ya boi Rocky Dabs drowns in crippling social anxiety, the battle is put on pause by ya boi Lilfinga. His crew straight up annihilate the Bolton army. A shocked Lord Hagrid of House "Father was a Cunt" gets his throat fuckin ripped out by Tormund after their fight to determine who had the most magnificent beard. Ramsey fucks off home, but Jon, Tormund an Wun for the Price of Wun take off after him, orderin him to pull over his horse on the side of the road now. I CAN NO LONGER FEEL THE BOTTOM HALF OF MY BODY WITH HOW ERECT I AM!!!

Jus kill this bastard already Jon Boy!

Wun Wun breaks through the door an the Wildlings fuck up Bolton's remaining men faster than a laxative fucks up a clean white carpet. Ramsey shoots Wun Wun in the eye and then reminds Jon to 1v1 him. Jon blocks his arrows with Witcher 3 level deflection tactics then starts pounding him against the ground, fists all up in him... damn, sounds really gay when I describe it like that.
Anyway, Jon wins. Ramsey is tied up and left in a dog cage. Fittingly, his wife couldn't find the Pedigree Chum so compromises and lets Ramsey's dogs FUCKIN DEVOUR HIM!!!! THAT WAS METAL AS FUCK!!! And then my dog started barking immediately and I shit myself!

RIP Wun Wun an Mr "Your Father was a Cunt" and Rickon aka 22 lines in the whole show aka Sonic. Fuck my life, that was a fantastic episode, even without Margery!

Peace yall!

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 8: Hi, I'm Arya Stark, Welcome to Jackass!

Sup yall blathering, Bob Geldof blastin out ya speakers on a Friday night ass dipshits, iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka Rok-Dig-Ba aka Witchdoctor Rodney aka Moisto the Gimp, less get into diss.

So Brienne Blessed rolls up on Jaime's posse and bullies him into lettin her visit Sansa's uncle in his nursing home, which he has locked himself in since he realised the nurses were stealin his pills. Unfortunately, Muthafuckin Blackfish is too smart to deal wid her "The Army Needs You!" letter an tells her ta fuck off back to Goldfingers aka Five Finger Death Slap. Oh, and Bronn molests a young boy afta insulting him for not gettin his dick wet wid Brienne.

Speakin of young boys getting molested, the Catholic Church show up, an they're on the run fo attempted fingerblasting when the Hound catches up. He tells them to "chop chop" and then whips they asses like a dominatrix in a horse race. He then bumps into his old penpals, the immortal pirate aka OG Jon Snow aka undead Popeye an his life coach the manbun man aka international hangman champion 2007, an afta some food critiquing, cock waving and light strangulation, the Hound decides to join their band as the replacement drummer for that boyfingering bald bloke who he castrated back in teh woods. In short, the Hound is now my favourite character again.

The man is a legend.

Meanwhile, Jaime tries to convince Edmeh to try out this new form of contraceptive, where you fire a baby out of a catapult, but Edmuh shoots it down (the idea, not the baby). Jaime lets Edmuh go and he tries to get the Blackfish to come out an play, but Blackfish is halfway through season 4 of Breaking Bad an refuses to come out. Edmuh lets Jaime and those peasant ass Freys in, whilst Blackfish helps Brienne an Pod escape. He then remembers he left his porn collection at the top of the stairs and runs back.
Jaime is then told that this epic badass war general died. THE FUCKN BLACKFISH IS FUCKIN DEAD?!?!? Jus like dat? At this point I expected him to go: "oh, an boss, King's Landing got nuked an all major characters there are dead lol".

Back in China Town, Qyburn brings Cersei her happy pills but then some hardcore Mormons show up and start insulting science as bullshit. The Mountain, who has a PHD in the physics and anatomy of efficient head trauma, wins the debate by pulling a dude's head off like a fuckin dandelion.

Arya is rescued by a bowl of shitty soup an some LSD milk, whilst Lady Crane tells her about stabbin a guy to death wit a fucken dildo. When Arya wakes up, Crane is more broken an fucked up than a table from Ikea, an the Termiwafer rocks up to finish the ganking. Fortunately, Arya discovers a portal to Assassin's Creed, and parkours around the city for a while. What I really took away from this is that Lady Crane has some fuckin effective painkillers. Also, the people in that city will yell out in horror if their baskets get damaged, but don't bat an eyelid at bleeding little stabbed girls, assassins with knives in plain sight shoving past them, or a blind girl gettin the shit kicked out of her.
Eventually, Arya's bathsalt high wears off an she staggers into a dark room. The Waif starts gettin all cocky an shit, and talks shit about Arya's Youtube channel. Luckily, Arya is an emo and is better off in the darkness, so when the electricity gets cut off, she kills the Waif.
Jack Sparrow finds the face hangin up like a fuckin Christmas decoration, an then Arya tells him she is Arya Stark. He calls her no one, leadin me to believe he has the worst short term memory ever, then she storms off. The Faceless Assassins meet to discuss the complete failure of their apprenticeship scheme and begin a new recruitment drive.

Ah, well, this week's MVP was Blackfish, fo going out like a beast, even if we didn't see it, and Grey Worm for bringing the comedy as always.
Till next time...

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 7: Peasants Everywhere

Sup yall toe suckin, paint snortin bishes, iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka Smack Daddy Simulator 5000 aka the Phantom Pisser aka Donald Dank, an iss dat time of the week again.

So Jaimie brings his wingman, ya boi Bronn the Bro, along on his lil lads night out to Frey Country, where they stumble across some dunce cap wearing peasants tryin to sell rope to the Blackfish by pretendin to hang his semi-retarded nephew. Seriously, those Frey lads must've just hijacked a truck fulla those minging grey and brown hats or the caretaker from Hogwarts just gives them out every year for Christmas whilst tryin to convince his family he's just goin senile so he can get away wid givin them shits.

This is the face of a cunning mufucka.

Blackfish watches this lil pantomime for a few moments before his chronic bladder infection flares up again in the presence of peasant ass Freys and he wanders off to watch Emmerdale or sumthin. Jaime steps up an bitch slaps the more disgusting lookin peasant for his dingy colour schemes an shit, whilst Bronn gives out advice on what colours match the soldiers' eyes.

Jaime then gets verbally roasted by Blackfish, who tells him he's disappointed in him, making Jaime wonder if Blackfish is really his father. He returns to the Freys with a MISSION COMPLETE banner an a Tony Blair sex doll. Bronn is disappointed with this.

Meanwhile the FUCKIN HOUND RETURNS BOISSSZ!!!! Whilst livin wid his new homeless stoner Iraq vet priest best bud, an gettin blazed in the valleys, the Hound briefly wonders if Arya's doin alright, whilst his godly pal starts shoutin orders to his flashbacks.

Arya gets brutally stabbed like a pregnant sidebitch at a wedding party. However, it turns out the locals who ignored a blind girl gettin the shit beat out of her in broad daylight will also ignore a girl bleeding and stumblin all ova da place too. Seemed like such a pleasant place, wid that local murder cult of assassins an shit.

Sansa an Jon meet a girl, but because she ain't ginger, Jon's mystical powers of literally being Jesus Christ have no effect. Also, she's like twelve years old, so it would be a bit weird, unless they fed her some of Bran's puberty pills. Davos tries to adopt her, but she knows it would just end wid MILFassandre burnin her ass as a sacrifice to the weather forecast. She tells them to get fuckt, before providing a few roadies to help the Stark Family Final World Tour. Damn, she probably coulda kicked Joffrey's arse as a fetus a few seasons back son. Reminds me of dis bitch wat gave me my first Valentine Card...

Good times.

Dat cool ol lady tries to convince Margery dat the only way Game of Thrones can possibly get more viewers is if she does a naked walk, but dat shit ain't happenin apparently cuz the Shame Nun lost her bell. The High Sparrow also gives off intense "creepy maths teacher outside your window at night" vibes when he tells Margery he's concerned she's not lettin Tommo drown his kingly boner in her queenly cavern. He pretty much strate up tells her she needs to fondle some royal balls for the greater good. Not like priests would ever do anything sexual involving child...oh... oh no... flashbacks to choir practice!!! No... NO NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Speakin ov priests, less check up on the Hound's new BFF...

...ah... shoulda known... he got killed... well, at least we still got the Hound!

MVP ov da episode... shit mang, Blackfish, Bronn, the lil Bear Island girl, Margery's nan, stoner hippie priest hobo, THE FUCKEN HOUND... really anyone who wasn't dressed in greyish brown peasant ass clothes.

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 6: The Samtard Show

Ayy bois, iss ya boi Sup Yagglesbee aka Motorboatarola aka Wankenstein's Monsta. Now dat we've all gotten over Hodor's death an have focused our collective outrage on dat sneaky bitch David Cameron once again, less get into the review.

First off, it seems Bran Squad's sacrifice was pointless, as Bran an Meera aka the character who's taken the most shit without complainin throughout the whole series (possibly) are surrounded by zombies. Meera goes in for a hug, an Bran immediately breaks out of his coma for a chance to lose his v-card before the walking dead extras rip them apart.
Unfortunately for a crippled boy's boner, a mysterious figure appears to fling some fireballs about and save dey asses. Good thing Hodor wasn't there really, or he'd have broken the horse's legs when he climbed on.
So as Bran desperately stores the memory of Meera hugging him in the VR wankbank, the stranger reveals himself to be Uncle Benji aka the North's Bear Grylls, who reveals he was jus cruisin about on a mental gap year lookin to tap some sweet Wilding pooss when the ice Nazis ganked his ass.

Since I've run out of offensive Sesame Street pictures, I'll jus use The Wire gifs instead.

And finally we get to see more of Samtard and Gilly and their Satan Spawn lookin ass adopted inbred Aryan child... future Joffrey or wateva. Anyway, I desperately tried to stay awake through their scenes for the first time ever, an I found out that Smatard's mum is a milf and also his dad's pretty much me but old-

...oh shit... does this mean... no... it can't be... 

AM I SAMTARD'S FATHER!!!!!?!??!?!?!?

Of course not, ya bish, it's a fictional TV show, an they ain't doing no Rock Digglesbee crossovers any time soon.

No one enjoys watching the re-enactment of her enemies' brutal deaths, before suddenly deciding that she ain't gonna slip some Cosby pills in Lady Crane's drink for Jacken HGlkKAR. Jacken aka Kurt Cobain takes the new surprisingly well, and rips off a dead guy's face. THAT'S METAL AS FUCK!!!

Back in incest land, the Lannisters get outsmarted by a demented old shoe maker. Margery looks fit as fuck. Her dad gives the most inspirational speech since Samuel L Jackson's "I have a dream, motherfucker" speech, despite lookin like he just fell through a Halloween costume shop on the way there.

Me when I found out that Margery wasn't gonna do the naked walk.

Samtard violates the terms of his probation by nicking his dad's sword and also a pack of Freddos from the local One Stop. Gilly remains on guard duty with her mouth hanging open as always lookin like Cletus offa the Simpsons.

Meanwhile, Jaime finally convinces Cersei to get #wincest trending again despite heavy competition from #shitparents and #savethegorillas(butonlyuntilwefindsomethingelsetogetoutragedat). Also his son fires him harder than the Nerf gun they used to rekill Charles Dance in that play.

The caretaker from Hogwarts is still stuck to his chair an complains that no one's cared about his mouldy ol ass since teh Red Wedding. He also brings the Blackfish hype! Oh, an dat dopey fucka what got married at the Red Wedding looks like he's loving the married lifestyle.

MVP of diss episode was... ah fuck it, it was Samtard. God, I hate myself for this... Runners up include the pissed off girl who hates No one and Margery's dad's hat.

Peace.

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 5: Hold the Tears...

S... s... sup yall too much deodorant using wet noises, iss ya... boi... WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHY???
Ahem, less get started before my anti-depressants wear off. Ha, only joking, I don't use anti-depressants - I only took a shitload of horse tranquillisers and sniffed some glue sticks.

So in this episode Dickless Whittington an his miserable goth sister try to win an election by pandering to a bunch of impressionable Viking looking bikers. Then their creepy uncle shows up like that friend who always has better jokes than you, an insults Theon for not knowin which public toilets he has to use now. Then the Drowned God Al-Quaeda throw him into the sea and awkwardly stand around wonderin why he's not breathing and if anyone knows CPR. Fortunately, Euron Trouble Now wakes up and wants to kill his niece and nephew. Probly had some sort of freaky near death experience induced hallucination where his crown wasn't just a tacky Christmas decoration.

Meanwhile, Lilfinga rolls up lookin smug as shit like some snakey used car salesman ass mufucka, but gets his ass lit up by Sansa. The most important thing here is that ya boi BLACKFISH is mentioned, an ya boi Davos the Hypebringer calls him a LEGEND!!!! BLACKFISH CONFURMET!!!

Game of Thrones spin-off confirmed!

Jorah makes a last ditch attempt to leap free of the friendzone, but gets told ta fuck off until he cures his super-herpes. His line about his dick being solid stone now just didn't cut it unfortunately.

Next ya boi Charles Xavier watched a man getting penetrated by some alien lookin lizard thangs, which, I mean, hey, Bran, ole buddy, it's yo fetish, bud, I mean, damn son, you tried to ave a cheeky wank to some incest in the first episode an look where that got you. Surely, nothing worse can happen because of Bran being a stupid kid, right?

No one went to watch a shitty movie. She talked with Jaken Inarticulate Throat Clearing Noise about it, an apparently he's heard good things but he's currently marathoning season 3 of Breaking Bad. Arya reveals spoilers so we're subjected by a giant naked warty dick taking up the screen as punishment.

But at least it wasn't this one.

 So the end grows near. But Bran tries to play COD whilst the stoned tree bloke takes an afternoon nap watching amputee porn on his VR gear. Unfortunately, Bran pisses off some mental fuckin Albanians by calling their mums slags on Xbox Live. They send the original Mr Whippee aka Mr Freeze aka Ice to meet you aka Darth Maul's Norwegian cousin with his albino mafia and some crack addicts to fuck im up.
Bran squad ain't ready for Wave 3 of zombies yet as old goth man warned him. But Bran Flakes insists on bein a shite team mate an tells them he has a plan.

Pictured: the result.

As Bran falls into a magic mushroom induced coma, Meera an the leprechauns try to fight off zombies an get Hodor to reconnect his controller so he can actually help them. Shit goes down hill afta Hodor wakes up. Olaf from Frozen strolls in like the final boss an just strate up disintegrates that old fucker by slicin his ass up like he was Kylo Ren or sum shit.

Summer jumps in and dies because winter has come and symbolism is great an all that but is it ironic that the wolf called Ghost is the only one doin ok at the moment for all we know. I like to think my dog would try to defend me from zombies but he's a pussy so he'd probly jus wag his tail and lick them til they legs fell off. 

The final four make a run for it, desperately wantin Bran to find the batteries for his controller quickly. The last lizard person decides to kill herself to buy them an extra two seconds with her magical Molotov cocktail. 

They make it out the door... but how do they keep it shut? Luckily, Bran mind rapes Hodor into becoming Hodor during a panic so that Hodor is Hodor enough to be Hodor in the future ensuring that Hodor can hold the door and Hodor the Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor.

RIP Bran Squad Bros: the Wolf of Symbolstreet, the Crow Bro, the Reptilian Master Race, my belief in me not being able to feel sadness and finally the MAN, the MYTH, the LEGEND, the HODOR! HE HELD THAT FUCKIN DOOR!!!!

MVP of this episode is Hodor. Although runners up include Edd, who finally realised he'd been left in charge an now had to deal wit the paperwork of a dude comin back to life and just abandoning the Wall, Tormund's creepy smile to Captain Phasma, and MUFAFUCKIN BLACKFISH, BISH!

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 4: RIP Non Nudity Clause

Previously on the Rock Digglesbee Report...

"Emilia Clarke's non nudity clause almost became another one to add onto the pile of dead bodies, but impossible camera angles preserved her dignity" - Rock "the Rock" Digglesbee, 2016

...well, damn, I've never been happier at being wrong. DEM TATTAES DOE!!!!
When dey was all bowing an shit, an Jorah just had to have a lil peek at dem twin dragon heads, like damn, this was probly his MakeAWish wish or sum shit. Meanwhile, he can tell his boy Super Dario that she really is fire retardant. I mean, shit son, you'd think one of Khal Brogo's bros would at least have a little bit of fire safety training. I like to think dat the bloke who they turned into a lumpy strawberry ice cream with that giant boulder was the designated fire marshal, and dat that was their plan all along.

Speaking of tits, Theon went home an got roasted by his sister for being a spineless (read: dickless) lil biatch. He was apologising more times than Jeremy Hunt with appendicitis (ha, relevant). But fuck im, less get back to the good type ov tits.

Still praying for her to release the battleships!

So that bitch ass pussy ass stupid ass lanky ass inbred ass Aryan mufucka Tommo aka Joffrey V.2 now with 100% less backbone made an appearance to put a stop to any hopes for Margy's nude stroll through town. Fuck man, it ain't like anyone would throw shit at her or anythin man, they'd all be busy snappin dat shit on dere medieval iPhones or burning the memory into their wankbanks.

Margery herself appeared to listen to Stoned Sparrow blaze it up and ramble about how shoes are just like, you know, poor people an shit, you know... Her goofy doofus ass brotha was all cryin an shit too, probly cuz he jus saw the trailer for dat new Ghostbusters film.

Jon Snuh reunited with his sister through his mystical ginger magnetism powers. Ramsey sent them a letter basiclly challenging Snowlo to rap battle an insultin an army of violent murderers who owe Jonny boy their lives... smart moves Ramsey. This letter basically boiled down to "lol m9 1v1 me on Da Norf map pack bish I fuckt yor sistur faggit lol cum an see bastard ps i got yo lil brotha an I'm gonna make him dress up like Sansa whils i go full Saville on his ass bastard come an see!".

Also Briene rolled up on Badgerbeard and GILFassandre to inform them politely that she lopped their boss's head off an that they probly will be next and also they ain't invited to her dinner with Jon an Sansa an the Bear an Pod and King Edd of the Wall, who's so lazy he's still letting Jon get all the letters adressed to the Lord Commander. Smart bloke, he'll probly be the last one standin at the Wall after all this shit... although, given my previous predictions, he's probably gonna be incinerated by a dragon in the nex episode.

In our weekly reminded that Ramsey's a bit of a cunt, he ganked that girl from the Harry Potter films... she was in one of the better ones anyway. Nice of her to come back for those five minutes of screen time since 2004 or weneva she disappeared off ta Sesame Street.

It's still safer for Rickon than going home.

Anyway, that's all I got diss week, fuckas.
MVP of the episode was definitely Danaereola's titties doe. PEACE!

Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 3: Your Father was a Cunt

Sup bishes, iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka Decapitated Pet Presentation (my new screamo band name) aka Yeastmaster aka Tony Stank.

So this episode was all sorts ov fun. We had ya boi Qyburn aka FranQybstein handin out sweets to abused lil kids in his torture chamber. We had wolf heads being used as paperweights by some guy who became my favourite character the minute he called Bolton Senior a cunt... multiple times... to his son's face. We also had an old fucka shart during a meeting when Sir Headsquasher Esquire emerged.

Oh... and I've never been happier to see the suffocation of a child! Fuck, that came out wrong! I sound like some kind of demented scumba-

...well, I mean...

...

Anyways... enough about my happy and mature sense of humour, you stinky cum crusts.

Meanwhile, Tyrion Tah God was busy conductin marriage councillin for a slave and a castrated man. They both got pissed off cuz Grey Worm waz complainin about needed a special separate set of public toilets for dudes wid no dicks, but then King of the Cockless aka "Who's yo favrite Game of Thrownes characta?" "It VARYS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!" waltzes in like my boss ten minutes into the morning meeting and throws all the exciting chat about petrol out the damn window.

Emilia Clarke's non nudity clause almost became another one to add onto the pile of dead bodies, but impossible camera angles preserved her dignity so I had to go back to watch Season 1 to get my daily dose of dragon queen tits.

However, despite all the menacing dickless bald blokes, teenagers gettin sliced up by medieval General Grevious, Bran To The Future escapades, and Gordon Ramsey lookalike hangings, I was still unprepared for the most disgustin sight Game of Thrones has eva revealed. Some say that MILF... I mean GILFassandre's wrinkly, haunted ole bacon taco was the worst thing they've seen, some say Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, however these both pale in comparison to the fuckin ATROCIOUS scene which was thrust upon my unsuspectin eyes during this episode...

This cunt.

So we got to see Samtard once again. He threw up a couple times and generally acted like a pissy little bitch. But, hey, Gilly looks hotter than I remember. But they're both still the character equivalents of geometry and celery: they're both individually boring and together they're still fuckin boring. Also the Ageless Baby has finally grown his first hairs after recently celebrating his two thousandth birthday with a sacrifice to the devil.

No one got to train how to fight blind... and then got her sight back... nice plan there, Creeping Jesus.

And finally, fuckin Beardy McBeardface aka the son of that bloke what got his fuckn fingers nibbled off by Robb's wolf in like Season 2 showed up to claim this week's trophy for MVP of the episode. He called Ramsey's papa a cunt, a cunt, and a cunt. Despite his colossal balls of steel effecting the rotation of the earth with their sheer ballsiness, the crazy bastard wasn't done jus yet, bois an gurls. He brought out ma boy Rickon for the Stark Final Reunion Tour. Then slammed his dead wolf's head down on the table... and the internet exploded into denial. Between this and the fucken bloodhounds, I'm beginnin ta think Game of Thrones fans like animals more than other humans. 

Anyway, until next time, peace.