Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 3: Your Father was a Cunt

Sup bishes, iss ya boi Rock Digglesbee aka Decapitated Pet Presentation (my new screamo band name) aka Yeastmaster aka Tony Stank.

So this episode was all sorts ov fun. We had ya boi Qyburn aka FranQybstein handin out sweets to abused lil kids in his torture chamber. We had wolf heads being used as paperweights by some guy who became my favourite character the minute he called Bolton Senior a cunt... multiple times... to his son's face. We also had an old fucka shart during a meeting when Sir Headsquasher Esquire emerged.

Oh... and I've never been happier to see the suffocation of a child! Fuck, that came out wrong! I sound like some kind of demented scumba-

...well, I mean...

...

Anyways... enough about my happy and mature sense of humour, you stinky cum crusts.

Meanwhile, Tyrion Tah God was busy conductin marriage councillin for a slave and a castrated man. They both got pissed off cuz Grey Worm waz complainin about needed a special separate set of public toilets for dudes wid no dicks, but then King of the Cockless aka "Who's yo favrite Game of Thrownes characta?" "It VARYS!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!" waltzes in like my boss ten minutes into the morning meeting and throws all the exciting chat about petrol out the damn window.

Emilia Clarke's non nudity clause almost became another one to add onto the pile of dead bodies, but impossible camera angles preserved her dignity so I had to go back to watch Season 1 to get my daily dose of dragon queen tits.

However, despite all the menacing dickless bald blokes, teenagers gettin sliced up by medieval General Grevious, Bran To The Future escapades, and Gordon Ramsey lookalike hangings, I was still unprepared for the most disgustin sight Game of Thrones has eva revealed. Some say that MILF... I mean GILFassandre's wrinkly, haunted ole bacon taco was the worst thing they've seen, some say Paul Blart Mall Cop 2, however these both pale in comparison to the fuckin ATROCIOUS scene which was thrust upon my unsuspectin eyes during this episode...

This cunt.

So we got to see Samtard once again. He threw up a couple times and generally acted like a pissy little bitch. But, hey, Gilly looks hotter than I remember. But they're both still the character equivalents of geometry and celery: they're both individually boring and together they're still fuckin boring. Also the Ageless Baby has finally grown his first hairs after recently celebrating his two thousandth birthday with a sacrifice to the devil.

No one got to train how to fight blind... and then got her sight back... nice plan there, Creeping Jesus.

And finally, fuckin Beardy McBeardface aka the son of that bloke what got his fuckn fingers nibbled off by Robb's wolf in like Season 2 showed up to claim this week's trophy for MVP of the episode. He called Ramsey's papa a cunt, a cunt, and a cunt. Despite his colossal balls of steel effecting the rotation of the earth with their sheer ballsiness, the crazy bastard wasn't done jus yet, bois an gurls. He brought out ma boy Rickon for the Stark Final Reunion Tour. Then slammed his dead wolf's head down on the table... and the internet exploded into denial. Between this and the fucken bloodhounds, I'm beginnin ta think Game of Thrones fans like animals more than other humans. 

Anyway, until next time, peace.